.

August

A Collection of Personal Projects

Spotify Link

This is based off nothing but pure vibes. January through March are my hardest months,
and a themed playlist sometimes helps me work through the complicated feelings that arise this time of year. It's self-indulgent,
allowing wallowing in the sadness at times, or allowing anger at the past, but it also offers hope that I can get through it.

Telephone - Pretty Sick

With a style reminiscent of my bloody valentine, Pretty Sick comes in strong, with a grungey sound and seemingly simple, but powerful lyrics.
The song is a bitter but accepting sotry of seeing someone happier with a new person than you they were with you.
For me, the song does a great job digging out deep-seated memories of past friendships and relationships,
and the back half of the song gives you plenty of time to get lost in the nostalgia, however painful it may be.

Paranoid - PUP

I have a weird relationship with PUP to be honest. When I was 15, I went to prom for my online high school. It was a weird event in the conference room of the school's office,
and the friend I came to spend time with bailed to go hotbox the bathroom. Anyway, I met this girl,
and she spent most of the night showing me PUP music videos on her shitty android in the corner away from everyone. She eventually broke up with me over text
because I was frankly, a socially awkward idiot with bad music taste, no friends, and zero dating experience.
This song, however, fucks severely. If Telephone is bitter but nostlagic, PUP is the equivalent of a rage room. Its loud, it's angry, and great bearing your shitty retail job.

August 10 - Julie Dorion

In the deep reaches of my memory, this song reminds me of one my mom used to listen to when I was a tiny child. At some point she burned it onto a CD,
which I would keep on my nightstand to play at bedtime. I have no way of knowing if this song specifically was it, but I doubt it.
To me, this song feels like falling asleep ofter a long, well-needed sob, wrapped in blankets, and too exhausted to be sad anymore.

Bucktooth - Lowertown

This song is inherently political, and really captures the feeling of just wanting to be safe and okay,
even when it seems like everything around you is falling apart. it starts off as a seemingly fun story, but eventually dissolves into "Oh god I don't like this somebody please save me"

Need 2 - Pinegrove

Is it a melancholic playlist WITHOUT Pinegrove? Need 2 took the world by storm a few years ago, and for good reason.
It captures that feeling that lurks in the shadows on winter walks through a quiet field, a late summer night bike ride, a rainstorm where you are stuck outside with nothing but your thoughts.
Need 2 asks: What's the point? If nothing seems to matter, why do I care so much? This song reminds me of humid august nights in the empty parking lot after work. Everything is closed, the city is quiet.
Is everything actually pointless, or is the fact I care a reason enough to keep moving?

Jaded - Near Tears

This song quite literally embodies this whole playlist. The constant feeling of unhappiness, and doing everything you can to break out of that. Being jaded inhibits the ability to truly experience and enjoy the things that will make you happy, and that give you a reason to keep going.

Dove - Bird Photos

This is another song about loss, and how time seems to drag on when you're stuck in the feeling of missing someone you can't have back. It's part of what makes winter so hard for me, is the fact that it feels like it never ends.

Where the Heart Is - Sweet Pill

I feel this song so deeply all the time. To me, its about going through the motions every day, just trying to survive. Every year, I feel like I've grown and matured as a person, and every winter I feel like I regress back. I find myself wanting more out of life, and this songe perfectly encapsulates that feeling.

Pool House - The Backseat Lovers

I'm certain this song is meant to be about one specific person, but i've always interpreted it as being to used to being an outsider. A sencond-choice friend. You get invited to things, just to be abandoned by the very friends who invited you. I don't experience this much nowadays, but it's still messed up how I see myself as a person, and how I function socially. It always feels like theres a thick glass panel between me and everyone else.

I Only Said - my bloody valentine

In a painfully relatable way, this song is about being nostalgic for things that have not happened yet. The longing for waht could have been. If you've ever met me, you'd know I am a pro at anticipratory grief. It makes it harder for me to enjoy the good times before they end, because I'm pre-emptively missing it.

Maine - hey, nothing

I moved to my current city in 2021, and the longer I live here, the harder it is to go back "home." Even though I've spent so much less time here than the place I grew up, I feel more connected to this city, and the people I know here. This place has become my home, and that I did much more "growing up" here than I did in my hometown.

Shed - Title Fight

I have a weird relationship with PUP to be honest. When I was 15, I went to prom for my online high school. It was a weird event in the conference room of the school's office,
and the friend I came to spend time with bailed to go hotbox the bathroom. Anyway, I met this girl,
and she spent most of the night showing me PUP music videos on her shitty android in the corner away from everyone. She eventually broke up with me over text
because I was frankly, a socially awkward idiot with bad music taste, no friends, and zero dating experience.
This song, however, fucks severely. If Telephone is bitter but nostlagic, PUP is the equivalent of a rage room. Its loud, it's angry, and great bearing your shitty retail job.